my wife marilyn

This is about my wife marilyn. I love her with all my heart.She moved out a while back. Iy was not any fault of hers.I take all the blame for this break up.I didn't hear her crys for help. Not literally.I should have read between the lines and i didn't.I failed her.This is not earth shaking to the rest of the world but to me its like my life ended.We were togeather for over 17 years.We went through a lot of tough times but it wasn't the tough times that were the problems.It was the little things i did that destroyed our love.Like not listening to her .Oh yea i listened but i didnt hear.It was what she didn't say that i should have heard.I know its over but i need to put it down in print so others may noy make my mistakes

E-mails my big mistake

ITS HARD TO LOSE A FRIEND AND APPARENTLY I HAVE LOST YOU. I GUESS WHAT YOUR TELLING ME IS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO COME HOME.THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO FORCE YOU TO COME HOME BUT I CAN'T GO ON LIVING ON THE EDGE WONDERING IF THIS IS THE DAY SHE'S COMING,OR MAYBE TOMORROW,OR THE NEXT DAY.YOU ARE MY TRUE LOVE.I CANT TAKE HEARING YOUR SWEET VOICE ON THE PHONE AND KNOWING YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE.EVERY TIME WE HANG UP IT BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES.HEARING THE SAME VOICE THAT ONCE UPON A TIME COULDN'T WAIT TO COME HOME TO ME.SO I THINK THE BEST THING IS FOR US IS TO STOP ALL CONTACT.I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AND I HOPE LOVE FINDS YOU. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. GOOD BYE MARILYN

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER
LeVant
ReplyReply All
Move...Inboxsaved e-mail

my journal

8/22/09 saturday
I used to wonderhow peoplecan commit suicide.i always thought they were weak minded people.Lately i have started to realize just how a person can be drawn into the act of taking ones own life.
1.I am addicted to pain pills
2.I am addicted to tabacco
3.I have diabetes
4.I have high blood pressure
5.I have E.D.
6.I am overweight
7.I am 60 years old
Lots of negatives.Where are the positives? I don't know.Don't worry i am not going to do it,but i can now understand the thought of killing ones self might seem like the answer.I keep praying that god will step in and make her come home but i know he doesn't work like that