my journal 8/22/09

8/22/09 saturday evening
Of all the people in this world i am the one who loves marilyn the most.I once saved her life.She would have died if i hadn't intervened.I don't think she knows how to return unconditional love.I keep checking my e-mailto seeif she has sent anything,but no nothing at all.I don't think she really cares.Thats what really hurts.All these years i thought she loved me.She said she did.How can she just up and leave.Its kinda funny one minute i love her the next i hate her.There really is a thin line between love and hate.
We finally exchanged e-mails this evening.Shedid sayshe loves me and does want to come home.I am so happy.Maybe she does know how to love but just can't show it well.Its like i have been living with a stranger all these years.We talked on the phone late tonight.We both proclaimed our love for each other.I can't begin to tell you how happy this has made me hearing her say she loves me.I am going to change.I am going to be more attentuve to her need and moods .When she talks i will listen to all she has to say.She will always come first from now on.She deserves the best i have to offer and she is going tp get it.I need to do whatever it takes to make her life good.I can sleep well tonight.She said she would call me in the morning. I am looking forward to morning and hear her sweet voice.